Gender-based Violence
Beyond the Surface: Understanding and Preventing Gender-Based Violence in the Home, Between Siblings, and at Work
T.C Lekitlane
Beyond the Surface: Understanding and Preventing Gender-Based Violence in the Home, Between Siblings, and at Work
by T.C Lekitlane
Gender-based violence is often discussed as a simple story of perpetrator and victim — but the truth is far more complex. It lives in arguments between spouses that escalate into harm, in rivalry between siblings that turns cruel, and in workplace cultures that enable abuse to thrive. Beneath every act of violence lies an unresolved conflict — a wound that was never healed, a pattern that was never named. This book looks at gender-based violence through three interconnected settings: the married relationship, the sibling dynamic, and the workplace. It pays particular attention to men and boys as victims — a reality that remains underreported, under-researched, and too often dismissed. Drawing on guidance from the CDC, the National Domestic Violence Hotline, the World Health Organization, clinical research on domestic violence against men, and evidence-based intervention frameworks, this guide replaces confusion with clarity. It helps you recognise the deeper patterns beneath the surface, understand why people stay silent, and know what to do — whether you are affected, supporting someone who is, or working to prevent violence in your community.
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Guide preview
Introduction: What Gender-Based Violence Really Is
Gender-based violence is not defined by one physical act. It is a pattern of behaviour rooted in unequal power, unresolved conflict, and often, generations of unspoken pain. It takes many forms: physical harm, sexual coercion, psychological manipulation, financial control, verbal degradation, and systematic isolation. The unifying thread is that the violence is directed at someone because of their gender — or disproportionately affects people of a particular gender.
The World Health Organization defines gender-based violence as any act that results in physical, sexual, or mental harm or suffering, including threats, coercion, and arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or private life. This definition is broad because the problem itself is broad. It happens between husbands and wives, between brothers and sisters, between colleagues, between parents and children.
Most discussions of gender-based violence centre on women as victims — and for good reason. Globally, about one in three women experience physical or sexual violence in their lifetime, most often from an intimate partner. But this focus, while necessary, has inadvertently created a blind spot. Men and boys also experience gender-based violence — as victims of intimate partner violence, sibling abuse, and workplace harassment. Research published in the journal Deutsches Ärzteblatt International found that between one in nine and one in seven men in the United States have experienced severe physical violence from an intimate partner. The rates of psychological abuse against men are higher still.
This book is built on the understanding that a person's gender does not determine whether they can be hurt. Violence is not male or female — it is human. What matters is recognising it, knowing why it happens, and learning how to stop it. We will explore three settings where gender-based violence occurs most often: married and intimate relationships, sibling relationships within the home, and workplaces. In each setting, we will look past the surface-level conflict to the unresolved issues beneath.
The goal is not to assign blame. The goal is to give you the knowledge to see clearly and act effectively — whether you are experiencing violence, supporting someone who is, or working to build safer environments for everyone.