Emotional & Physical Abuse
Standing Together: A Complete Guide to Understanding and Preventing Bullying in Schools
T.C Lekitlane
Standing Together: A Complete Guide to Understanding and Preventing Bullying in Schools
by T.C Lekitlane
Bullying is not just conflict between peers — it is a pattern of behaviour involving power, repetition, and harm that leaves lasting effects on everyone involved. Written for parents and teachers, this comprehensive guide covers every major type of bullying: physical, verbal, social/relational, and cyberbullying. Each chapter identifies the specific behaviour, distinguishes it from normal peer conflict, and provides clear, evidence-based remedies for both the child being targeted and the child doing the bullying. Drawing on guidance from the CDC, StopBullying.gov, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), and leading school-based intervention research, this book replaces confusion with clarity and fear with actionable knowledge. Whether your child is being bullied, bullying others, or watching it happen, you will know exactly what to do.
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Guide preview
Chapter 1: Understanding Bullying — What It Is and What It Isn't
Bullying is one of the most misunderstood behaviours in schools. Parents and teachers often confuse it with normal peer conflict, which leads to inappropriate responses that can make the situation worse. Getting the definition right is the foundation of effective prevention and intervention.
The CDC defines bullying as any unwanted aggressive behaviour by another youth or group of youths — who are not siblings or current dating partners — that involves an observed or perceived power imbalance and is repeated multiple times or is highly likely to be repeated. This definition has three essential elements: aggression, power imbalance, and repetition.
A power imbalance can mean physical strength, social status, access to embarrassing information, or numerical advantage. The key is that the targeted child cannot easily stop the behaviour on their own. This is what separates bullying from conflict.
Normal peer conflict happens between two people of roughly equal power or status who disagree. Both sides express their views, both may be upset, and both usually want the problem to be resolved. In conflict, children can typically read social cues and adjust their behaviour — when they realise they have hurt someone, they stop.
In bullying, the intent is to cause harm, the power is unequal, and the behaviour continues even when the person causing harm knows it hurts. The targeted child feels trapped and unable to make it stop. This distinction matters because conflict resolution strategies — bringing both parties together to work things out — are harmful when applied to bullying. They send the wrong message: that both sides share responsibility. In bullying, the adult's message must be clear: This is wrong, and we are going to stop it.
About one in five high school students in the United States report being bullied at school, according to the CDC. Rates are similar or higher in middle school. Bullying is an adverse childhood experience (ACE) linked to depression, anxiety, declining academic performance, and increased risk of self-harm and suicide for all involved — victims, perpetrators, and bystanders alike.
This book will help you recognise each type of bullying, understand what drives it, and respond effectively — whether your child is being bullied, is the one doing the bullying, or is watching it happen.